What Breast Cancer CAN'T Do - From cancer patient to Ironman.

Julie was amazing on several levels. She's very level-headed.  She went with me to my 1st appointment with my oncologist.  She asked "can she drink on chemo?"  Dr Tiber said, "If she feels like it." Thanks, Jules.  And it wasn't about drinking, it was about normalcy.

Never having been pregnant, I can only relate based on what I am told, but it seems that chemo does to your ability to tolerate tastes and smells much like being pregnant does.  I love coffee,  yes, the taste.  It was a while after chemo before I could drink coffee.  And fish?  Ugh, years.  And sushi??!  Double ugh and even MORE years!  And I LOVE sushi! My sister-in-law, having just lost her Mom, came to help me.  She made the most amazing oatmeal/cranberry cookies and a cuke/onion salad that I love to this day.  And she was resourceful.  I still had a couple drainage tubes in and was wearing my boyfriend's shirts.  She determined that maxi pads, cut to fit around the tubes, made an excellent bandage,  And she was right! 

When I moved to Milwaukee from CA, after losing my mother-in-law to, yep, you guessed it....breast cancer and basically the family falling apart (cancer will do that....), I met this guy at work.  Mike.  We became pals, golfed, hung out etc.  Nothing romantic, just good pals.  Mike was introduced to the sister of another guy we worked with.  I remember meeting them both at, what we call a ski hill in WI.  Anyway, it was all good and they hit it off.  I think the next time she saw me, I was in the hospital, day 1 out of ICU.  Leave it to Mike to plan "date-night"  LOL!! She and I have been through more than most married couples.  I love her and am proud to call her my best friend. Mary Beth, aka Wild, aka Boo.

"Ready" to write about it does not mean you can do so without feeling it all over.  And shedding some tears.  

Surgery.  I had a lumpectomy on the original benign tumor, easy peasy.  Yeah.  I opted to have reconstruction right away.  My plastic surgeon is great (yes, I said "is").  I clearly recall him asking if I ski.  YES!! So, he said he would not use my latisimus muscle, then he asked how I felt about sit-ups and crunches.  Not knowing AA would come into my life, I said; "I can take 'em or leave 'em."   The die was cast. I was in surgery for 12 hrs.  I will never forget waking up screaming in pain.  My abdominal area was so tight Dr. S. had to sit me up to suture me closed.  Ugh.  I was moved to ICU, on morphine.  When my kidneys shut down there was a sense of panic.  I, apparently, am allergic to morphine.   So they gave me, shoot, whatever it was it made me puke.  Immediately.  Very fun when your whole gut is sewn together.  But, I survived.  And I endured and survived 9 months o...

I had skipped this part, because somewhere along way, or in one of the many moves, I lost the original pathology report.  Or I burned it in a fit of pique.  I honestly don't recall.  So, I requested a copy from my oncologist.  We sat and read it on the computer screen together.  I could feel my eyes getting wider and wider and ultimately uttered, "holy shit."  I said I had often second guessed the mastectomy, because an awful lot of people feel a mastectomy is "unnecessary."  His comment;  "yeah, YOU needed a mastectomy."  Here it is in a nutshell"  "Metastatic poorly differentiated infiltrating ductal carcinoma involving two of fifteen axillary lymph nodes."  There's a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo, but net/net, no clean margins and involved lymph nodes.  And I was 35.  Crap.